i wished i could tell you that the past nine weeks flew by like a breeze and how i'm missing every moment spent on the sunny island of tekong. but no, my experience was just too far from that.i dreaded every second i was in there, and every exercise i had to pull myself through. more often at times forcing myself to put on a smile simply because demoralisation's a contagious killer that can swiftly wipe out a platoon's morale. the irritable buzz of the alarm clock at 0515 hours each morning was a cruel snap back to reality from one of my only source of comfort - dreaming of home. and as i gaze upon changi's control tower over on mainland along the way to the toilet with my toothbrush in hand... well, that just made the situation so much more painful to accept. as harsh as it sounds, yes, it was literally one hell of a living nightmare.
if i could sum up the whole experience, i believe it'd be the best journey of self discovery i've landed myself in. at the end of each day, the only thing i ever longed for was to hear the voices of my loved ones over the phone. even then, it was difficult to cover up the sobbing and no matter how hard you tried, its never easy to lie to your mom. she knew. despite so, she kept my pride at her interest and never asked why, only to reply 'i love you son...'. yep, that was the first time my mom ever said those four words to me. gosh, recalling those moments only moves me to tears once again.
the mornings spent emo-ing, days being outfield and nights warded in the sickbay alone, are amongst the many i'll never forget. amidst those tough times however, i guessed i've matured. i finally understood what it meant by 'the best things in life are free', and what i needa do to cherish them. learning to be independent, you bet. if washing your own clothes is included that is. ;) piecing it all together, would have been what made me stronger and more capable to take on life's future obstacles.
and how can i not mention about my buds who brought me through it all. for example, smacking your ass as you run to ensure you meet the 2.4 targets, holding you up and taking over your fieldpack when you no longer can take shit from the route marches, and digging part of your grave (shellscape) for you when you get engulfed with heat rash. you guys know i owe you my life. haha. and yes, thank you sgt ashri, wilson and wan for all the memorable tekan sessions that if not for, i'd never have made it for ippt.among all, esther, shuying, jiawen, junyi and the sec4s, thank you thank you thank you sooo much for the cards! y'all should be glad to know i had them up on my cupboard door and if there was a remedy to make me feel any better, it would have been those :D heehee.
as i look back, i figured the reason for the distasteful experience can only be owed to the removal of our basic right - freedom, which all of us are entirely used to having (and probably have taken for granted of) and all we got left with instead, were the basic necessities to live - no more, no less. yet in defending that freedom, we have to be prepared to give it up, ironically. whatever it was, i'm glad i can honestly say i did my best. never once keng ok. wahaha. so wish me luck for my posting in a few days. hopefully a slack vocation please! maybe driver, storeman or clerk would be nice.
EVERYDAY STRONGER, BETTER, FASTER, COUGAR! (:
